Vamps' Night Out Recap

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A quick (belated) post to say that Vamps' Night Out was a blast and a huge thanks to everyone who made it possible!  We had a great turnout and all of the lovely vamps who participated couldn't have looked more radiant, happy and confident!  Success!!  And just as important, this event helped to raise $1,700 for yogaHOPE's Project Haiti.

This was the first installment of Vamp Camp, my most recent creative endeavor.  My vision is for Vamp Camp events to encompass different aspects of body empowerment and self-expression.  Going forward, I see Vamp Camp continuing to be a vehicle to empower not only the participants but to help raise funds for women's charities.

I've been thinking about returning to Haiti with yogaHOPE to complete my trauma-informed yoga training next April -- the fundraising requirement for this trip is $10,000, but thanks to you I'm already on my way toward reaching it!

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Julie Sterling of Oh Lah Lah Boudoir photography and Lucie Wicker captured the amazing images to make this event unforgettable!

A giant thanks to SHAG salon for providing the hip and inviting venue for our amazing night!  THANKS!

And THANK YOU to all who donated their time and funds to this fabulous event and incredibly worthy cause!

The Only Time We Have is Now

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For me,every autumn comes with a liberal dose of melancholy, despite the beauty of the changing leaves, the comfortable temperatures, and the fun family traditions of the season. The days grow a little darker and a feeling of bittersweet nostalgia creeps in, bringing with it a sobering awareness of how quickly the year(s) fly by.

This year, these feelings came particularly early, still in the balmy days of September.  One evening, I found myself lying awake  with the profound awareness that my son won't be a little kid much longer.  In fact, in less than one month, he'll turn 13 and will officially be a teenager!  Fortunately for me, he is in no hurry grow up, and possesses an endearing naivete  and willingness to stay a kid.  I can still entertain both my 6-year-old and my 12-year-old with many of the same activities.  I wonder how much longer he'll want to indulge in child-like pastimes like jumping in a bounce-house with his little sister.

As I lay in bed pondering this, tears began to flow, until my whole body shook with mourning for this precious season of his life -- childhood.  While I'd been busy trying to 'figure it all out' and 'get it right,' his childhood had been unfolding -- day by day, moment by moment.  Had I been present to it, or had I simply seen each day as an obstacle in the way of tomorrow?  Had I given him the upbringing I so wanted him to have?  How will he look back on these formative years, and what will he wish I'd done differently?

I examined these heavy feelings and looked within for insight.  Thankfully, I recalled that there was still something I could do.  I could BE PRESENT in the time I have with my son, NOW.  After all, isn't NOW the only time we ever have???

Rather than fear a day (soon or not) when he won't want to spend time with me, I could give my undivided attention and PRESENCE to being with him TODAY.

Roman had been asking for some time for a trip to Canada.  I always thought it was a bit of a strange fascination, but I think the appeal for him was in "Leaving the Country" for the first time, which I could see being a big deal to him!

I decided it was finally time to take Roman for some family bonding time in Montreal.  It was nice for Jason and me to be with only Roman, without his little sister around to command all the attention.

We created some pretty great family memories together: Biodome, an amazing show by Cirque Eloize, Roman's first French meal -- complete with escargot! On the drive home, we were surprised by the biggest, most vivid rainbow any of us have ever seen...  I'm so glad we made the trip.

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As I sit down to write this now, I realize that I might remember today for a long time to come.  Memorable events of the day: learning the results of our country's elections, a first snowfall, an important visit with my 95-year-old grandmother in hospice care, learning that a family friend's wife passed away in her sleep at age 45, and that a close friend's girlfriend of six years had suddenly moved out with no explanation...

We never know what the future holds, or how many days we have left to enjoy together.  There is no point in squandering the moment by worrying about the events of the future, or remaining caught up in the disappointments of the past.  All we have is NOW.  We can become PRESENT to the blessings we have RIGHT NOW, TODAY.  We can love each other in THIS MOMENT -- the only time we have.

Today is a great day to let go of a grudge, to apologize, to tell someone you love them, to appreciate your body, ( even with the extra five pounds that you may never lose, because your body works, it's alive, and that's something to be grateful for.)

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” ― Mother Teresa

8 Life Lessons I Learned in Haiti

It's taken me a few months to put this post together because, as it turned out, my trip to Haiti for a trauma-informed yoga training with yogaHOPE this past April was the start of a new phase of life for me. Like the shedding of an old skin, within two weeks of returning I had given my notice at my full time job, ready to pursue a deeper calling. I've been in the shaky world of transition since then. It's not that any specific event happened in Haiti to cause me to take a new direction. I think it was the other way around.

I chose to go to Haiti because I needed to be inspired. Something was missing. I felt I had lost touch with a fundamental part of me, my passion for women's issues, and I longed to be a part of something that was making a difference for women, especially trauma survivors.

Prior to the trip, I was burnt out with the demands of working and teaching full time.  I didn't have much time or energy to pursue my creative interests, but I squeezed them in because they were important to me. What that amounted to was little time leftover for self-care (like sleep) and, oh yeah, my family.

My experience in Haiti helped me get unstuck. Since going back to teaching part-time, I've got time to write, play in the ocean, practice yoga, prepare healthy meals, to actually listen to my kids and my partner when they speak to me...  And I'm making just as much money as I was before!!

...JUST KIDDING!!!! My paycheck is a lot smaller than it used to be. I'm just going to make it work for now. ;)

8 life lessons from my trip to Haiti

• I learned to appreciate many "simple things" I'd been taking for granted.Food and water that is safe to eat and drink. A clean safe bed to sleep in. Toilets that flush. Education for my children past kindergarten. Paved roads. Warm showers.I never realized how fortunate I was to have all of these things. It's not that I've stopped having needless anxiety or falling back on old habits or complaints, but my eyes have certainly been opened, and I am so much more aware.
• I learned what makes for a memorable evening...It's not a fancy meal, fine wine, or the right outfit. Sometimes the best moments can happen outdoors, on plastic chairs, among friends, where the only thing on the menu is hotdog casserole, and there is one type of beer, and it is great. Note to self: Have friends over more often. (And keep it simple.)
• I learned that hugging, dancing, singing, yoga and massage are really awesome in any language.
• I learned that making music with a group is one of my favorite things in the universe.Another note to self: Always travel with ukulele, because you never know.
• I learned my favorite emotion.While in Haiti, I experienced a state where I was content to smile, observe and take in my surroundings. Where I didn't need to put in my two cents, because my words would not improve on the peaceful quality of silence. I called this feeling "quiet happiness."
• I found out it's fun to ditch the iPhone.No cell service and WiFi only at the guest house, so I checked email/social media twice a day, around breakfast and dinner time.  This was hugely different from my usual routine of checking every 5 seconds. It felt AMAZING not to be zoned out on the iPhone, and it made those brief check-ins actually fun and exciting to see what messages I had waiting. This deserves a whole other post as I need to integrate this into life back at home.
• I discovered my greatest fear. No big deal.Kidding of course -- this was big. One of the most powerful moments in the training was an exercise where we were all given a slip of paper and a pencil.  We were to write down what we fear most, fold the paper and place it in a basket. We then took turns pulling out a slip and reading someone else's fear to the group.  It was so moving to hear many of the same worries expressed in English and Kreyol. Things like "I am afraid I will grow old alone." "I am afraid of dying."It took me only a few seconds to write mine down. The thought that came up right away was, "I am not important."Interesting. Noticing and naming the fear has allowed me to ask myself, "What if I am not important??"Maybe I'm not! Maybe that's okay. This thought is freeing.I had to confront this fear when resigning my management role -- a job that gave me a feeling of status, importance.  In Haiti, no one knew the company I worked for, what my role was. I was just me.

I'll leave you with one final thanks to all those who changed lives, including mine, by donating their time and money to this cause.

And if you didn't -- thanks to you too for reading this far!